Escaping the Trap of Feeling Less and Wanting More

All of us are chasing the things we believe will make us happy, but expectations don’t always match reality. We might save up hundreds of dollars to buy a new gadget that seems like it will make our lives easier, only to realize it’s a disappointment when we finally get it. Or we might save thousands for the vacation of a lifetime, only to spend the entirety of the trip worrying about hotel imperfections or what might be happening back at work.

A lot of this comes down to feeling excited in anticipation of an upcoming treat, but getting our expectations a little too high as a result. During anticipation, we focus on all the positives we’re hoping to get from an event. Taking travel as an example, we might focus on the awesome nature hikes, the great local food, and the swanky hotel we’ve booked. On the other hand, when we’re living the experience, our minds drift toward the negatives in front of us: the mosquitos during the hike, the overpriced dessert at the restaurant, or the single hair we noticed in the shower.

This tendency to have our attention distracted away from what matters about our present experience is a common hurdle to happiness. A new research study has taken aim at this distraction problem and exposed a more specific way in which it can negatively impact our behavior; researchers are calling it hedonic compensation.